Friends & Social Skills
In describing their return to high school in fall 2021, students expressed a strong desire to connect with friends, make new friends, and to have the chance to be a friend. Students asked that their schools help them to strengthen their social skills and provide them with opportunities to interact with their peers. They also asked that adults recognize that providing students time inside and outside of class to connect with their peers is a valuable part of the school experience.
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What 20 Students Had to Say About Friends & Social Skills
“What my school can do to help me during this period of change is make me feel like I’m not alone, and that people actually care about me and let people know that I am here as a friend, because during the Covid time I became very antisocial and I wanna be more open to more friendships.”
12th grade, girl/woman, African American
“During this period of change the school can help me knowing new people, make friends and experience new things.”
11th grade, girl/woman, prefer not to say
“I was cut off from all my friends and the only way for us to ‘hang out’ was through video games. My mental health plummeted. …. But when we finally came back to school in March everything started to get better.”
12th grade, boy/man, white
“I became really distant after the pandemic and just not social anymore. … This is my first year here and I made a little progress with making friends but it’s just not the same. The pandemic really changed me, and I don’t like how. ”
11th grade, girl/woman, African American
“Give students more chances to communicate with each other. … Some students may have parents who don’t let them go out and school should be a place where they should feel as if they can talk and communicate a lot with students/friends. This may not seem like such a big problem, but it really is and it can really affect how one feels throughout their days, throughout school, and about themselves in general.”
11th grade, girl/woman, LatinX
“It was hard for a lot of people to go so long without seeing people, especially their friends, and it has been even harder for those people to see their friends again after so long because they feel awkward or uncomfortable around those people.”
11th grade, prefer not to say, white
“The switch from in-person to online to back to in-person was very stressful but I’ve managed to get used to it. I like that I now can socialize with people my age and I can make friends. I’m glad to have met people to help me with my work.”
10th grade, girl/woman, LatinX
“I see a lot of people by themselves and I want to go up to them and be friends with them but I have nothing to converse about.”
10th grade, girl/woman, LatinX
“Since we have got back to school I can at least see my friends it makes me happy and I get the comfort and feel safe at school.”
10th grade, boy/man, LatinX
“In the first place like i can’t even eat with my friends at lunch because of it so I eat alone a lot the only way I can eat with my friends is by breaking the rules … but I don’t want to have to do that just to eat with my friends.”
10th grade, boy/man, white
“The change has been hard because of many things but one of them being I’m less social. I would like more friends and before covid I had friends but after covid I lost connection with all of them so now I’m left with my two best friends. In high school it has kinda been hard.”
9th grade, girl/woman, LatinX
“Everyone feels really isolated even when someone is right next to you. …There needs to be something that can break that ice again to get people to be normal again…. I feel like the school can do something, I don’t know what that is but the effect needs to thaw that ice that is holding people back from expressing their true feelings.”
11th grade, boy/man, white
“I believe a big reason I didn’t fall into a hole … is because of the sports still going on during covid. It gave me responsibility, accountability from my coaches, and a time to connect in person with teammates and make friends. Which was something I realized I really needed when I got it, after months at sitting at home alone.”
12th grade, boy/man, LatinX
“I think that some teachers need to realize how hard it is for some people to socialize and that we barely get to see our friends so understand when we want to work with them and not just think we want to fool around.”
9th grade, girl/woman, African American
“The lack of socialization over the pandemic has really challenged a lot of people’s friendships and relationships, many of them including me dealing with loneliness. It’s great to finally be able to socialize in person again, it’s just difficult to tell whether people are being genuine or not.”
12th grade, boy/man, white
“I felt a bit lonely during school last year, and in most of my classes this year I’m not actually friends with anyone. I know that sitting next to good friends would probably lower productivity as people talk, but I would feel a lot more excited going to school if there are people I wanna be with in my classes.”
11th grade, girl/woman, Asian
“I am finding it really hard to be social and interact as I don’t have much experience in that area being homeschooled for so long. If the school made it easier to interact, or trade numbers or something to where we could talk to other students outside of class … I feel like I would have more friends, and actually know how to talk to people.”
11th grade, boy/man, white
“The pandemic makes me realize how much I love my classmates and friends. I appreciate them more than ever after the distance learning year. I have also learned how important it is to see someone’s entire face and how having masks can really affect social intelligence.”
11th grade, prefer not to say, white
“It’s been very difficult to feel like I can socialize with my peers due to COVID regulations. When that happens, it makes me feel really sad and lonely, causing a whole domino effect on my schoolwork and academic performance. I think giving student more time to interact with other students (while still being COVID safe) would decrease that feeling of being all alone and not being able to reach out or make friends.”
10th grade, boy/man, white
“The changes to learning based on the COVID pandemic sucks. Because we aren’t allowed to be close enough to each other, we can’t develop strong relationships with each other. The situation at lunch is awful – it used to be giant tables with groups of friends, but now it’s a bunch of mini tables. I used to sit with my close group of friends, but now we’re so spread out we can’t even interact with each other.”
9th grade, boy/man, white
Explore the full Students Weigh In series
Education in the United States, as across the globe, changed dramatically when the COVID-19 pandemic forced schools across the country to close in spring 2020 and over 50 million students were asked to learn remotely.
In response to a stark lack of firsthand data about how the pandemic and school closures were affecting students’ lived experiences YouthTruth explores what students have to say about learning and well-being during COVID-19 in our series.
